Before I go to bed last night, I planned to not wake up early for class. To wakeup late and skip the first time this year. Because I can feel a cold is coming on, with the showers in the night, I couldn't keep my eyes open. But for the sake of attending class to show my (poor) performance and see how things go in class. Plus I'll be a dissapointment to those who wait upon me to borrow some softwares to download. I felt a little agitated to allow myself to let others remember only because of what I can provide at the moment. Like the class geek who can troubleshoots your laptop issues, I can evaluate others software skills. I could tell if that person spends how much hours on their own laptop to fix it.
They are suprise Lil'Miss Nobody knows something useful to share in class. I've been so passive in my nature that my natural abilities are not shine and I prefer to keep a low key than to get unnecessary attention. Sometimes I think I know everything and how's everybody doing their personal lives. And sometimes, I feel like I turn introverted and to keep to myself in my time in college instead of the days in high school when I couldn't keep still for a second.
This maybe due to my 0.5% social life. I didn't go to the clubs and all. Maybe I stop trying so hard to give a damn to such activities. I try to focus onto finishing my asignments yet I feel like the same speed I do my work...slowly & surely & late! to submission. I must do a make over or something about myself...
What can I do? Maybe put a huge dateline to decrease my procrastination.
Or to start to be in motion, so as to start my momentum in my work projects. Maybe I think too much before I start, plan too much, but hardly lift a finger. I always know my strengths and weaknesses. But I don't know how to handle it. I don't know where to begin.
I hardly meet stronger characters for me to follow suit as in examples to act like that to improve myself. Maybe I need to go to a new pasture and increase my personal level instead of sitting underneath a rock here in my own country. I need to hang out more with people to make beautiful memories. Not to be a dummy here and standstill. I need a new zest in life. Maybe I need to find a handsome life partner to bring me further in my taste of life.
I need to find a part-time freelance job to accomodate my coming-on expensive lifestyle. I don't know my options. Maybe I need to start knocking on doors, or I will never know even if those doors are open for me already and awaiting new-comers. God knows now I'm on a plateau level, either go up or down in my next step of life. And I can only go up, uP, UP and away from here it all.
